The Christian & Character: Empathy, Compassion, Forgiveness

 

Dear friends,

We carry on with our thinking on Christian character.  This week’s post also shares bits and pieces on character in general that I’ve encountered that help to illustrate an aspect.

Empathy.

What is empathy?  

One day Mr. Gumpy went out in his boat... ‘can I come along, Mr. Gumpy?’ said the rabbit. ‘Yes, but don’t hop about.’ A little story about Mr. Gumpy’s outing, where lots of animals want to come along. He lets them all come, but…he tells the cat not to chase the rabbit, the dog not to chase the cat, the pig not to muck about, and the sheep not to bleat. In short, they can come as long as they don’t be themselves! Mr. Gumpy is not empathetic – he does not allow them to be themselves. And he is unable to accept them as they are. He is unable to empathize.

Empathy happens when you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions – their feelings. It’s not pity. And it’s not sympathy either. It’s feeling with, not feeling for. There is affective empathy – the sensations and feelings we get in response to other people’s emotions, and cognitive empathy – our ability to identify and understand other people’s emotions. For folk to follow the golden rule, it really helps if you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and then walk a mile. Best way to do this is to share the experience. Then you get a sense of what the other is going through. It is a key ingredient to successful relationships, and it helps us understand the perspectives, needs and intentions of others.

Even so, there are times when the limits set by the differences in people’s lives run so deep that even the strongest personal connections will be frustrated. Take the case of 2 loving and well-meaning children in this excerpt, which is particular sad today as we struggle through stuff and collateral damage into a time where John Lennon’s “So This Is Christmas…” once again reminds us of our shared humanity and its seemingly inherent divisiveness…cultural, religious etc; most of which we have carelessly allowed; the following excerpt is from Lynn Reid Banks, One More River:

‘Shalom.’ ‘Salaam.’ They looked at each other, awakened, happy, embarrassed. Then she put out her right hand and he took it and shook it and they half laughed. Her hand was not soft like a little girl’s nor hard like a woman’s (all the grown girls and women he knew had hard, callused hands) but felt somewhat too cool and limp, and she gripped harder than she usually did to encourage him to grip back, for she sensed his shyness and uncertainty. The strength in her hand challenged the man in him, and he suddenly pressed hers almost convulsively before letting go.

‘How is your peace?’ she asked in Hebrew, and he replied: ‘My peace is good. And yours?’ ‘Also good.’ They spoke stiffly, but their eyes were shining. They were each strangely thrilled to see the other. Their meeting seemed to both uncanny, an event not to be dreamed of, not really part of normality. ‘What are you doing here?’ asked Lesley. The boy shrugged and indicated the tray with hidden shame. ‘What you see – selling. You want nuts? ‘He took a bag and offered it to her. ‘Without money. I give you. Take.’

She took them and thanked him and ate one, and offered one to him. ‘Are they yours?’ ‘My uncle’s.’ ‘Won’t he care?’ ‘He not know.’ They grinned. Then he asked her what she was doing in Tubas. ‘I’m on a trip with my class.’ ‘You like our country?’ he asked, with just a hint of irony. She flushed and said, ‘Yes, very much. I like the villages. Why did you leave your village?’ She at once noticed his withdrawn expression and knew she had touched him on the raw. He answered with his old roughness: ‘That is my business.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ After a moment, feeling ashamed, he added, ‘It was the war.’ ‘I understand.’ ‘I live now with my father and my uncle in this town.’ He didn’t consider his sister worth mentioning.

‘It goes well with you?’ ‘Not bad.’ ‘And Eeyore?’ she asked eagerly, without thinking. ‘What?’ ‘Oh…She giggled, and a smile twitched his tough mouth at the sight. ‘Eeyore—that’s what I used to call your donkey. Hee-haw—Eeyore—it’s a donkey’s name from a book.’ ‘He’s okay.’ ‘Did you keep your promise?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘You don’t beat him, ever?’ ‘Only when he is bad,’ he said, to keep his pride, for he couldn’t let her know how completely he had obeyed her. ‘You shouldn’t beat him at all! He doesn’t mean to be bad.’ ‘He is lazy and no good,’ he said sternly, but then he smiled. ‘But I like him—sometimes.’

‘You have him here with you?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ ‘But this is your work now—the nuts?’ He nodded. ‘So why do you need him?’ ‘He carries things. He carries us. We would be nothings without a donkey’ he said. ‘My father rode him here, all the way from our village, with all our stuff on his back too. He never gets tired.’ ‘I thought you said he was lazy and no good.’ ‘Oh, that is only sometimes.’ ‘I think you love him now.’ ‘Of course not, He’s just an animal.’ They stood for a while saying nothing. Lesley waved lightly to Ofer, who was craning his neck to watch her. ‘You can’t go back to your village now?’ Lesley asked suddenly. ‘No.’ ‘Would you like—‘she began, then hesitated. The war was over. Surely there would be proper peace soon, and yet…Would the kibbutz allow…? What would her friends think of her? But she finished her sentence. ‘Would you like to visit the kibbutz?’

‘What?’ ‘My—village. Where I live. You can see your village from there.’ He stared at her. He was trying to come to grips with the idea of seeing the village like that, from the Jewish side of the river. To visiting that hated place which, had it not been for Lesley, he would long have dreamt of destroying. He wouldn’t mind destroying it anyway, if he could just be sure she wouldn’t be there at the time. ‘No.’ ‘Why not? Why are you angry?’ He turned his head away. His eyes had a curious burning in them. ‘Mustapha…I understand how you feel about—us. About the war and everything, but—‘

‘No, you don’t. You can’t understand.’ ‘But we’re not enemies, are we? You and I?’  He looked round at her slowly. His eyes were lustrous like black olives, and just as bitter, but they softened as they looked at her. ‘Perhaps no. But I am enemy to all your people, except only you.’ ‘Don’t talk like that!’ ‘You want lies? That is the truth. You must know it.’ ‘But the war’s over!’ ‘It is not over. It is not begun.’ She gazed at him with a deep sensation of horror swelling inside her.

‘But Mustapha, it can’t be like that! Don’t you see that it can’t go on and on? There’s been so much fighting, so many people are dead. How can you want to go on? Let it stop, let it stop and let’s have peace!’ ‘You can say that. You can talk of peace. You—won,’ he said with great difficulty. ‘But when you lose, it is different. Then you can’t talk about stopping. You must talk about fighting and you must fight, until you lose your ‘He groped desperately for the English word. ‘Till you lose your life?’ Lesley cried. ‘No, no. Till you don’t have to feel ‘He curled his hand into a hard claw and made a savage gesture towards his chest as if some beast were tearing at him. And Lesley understood. ‘Ashamed.’ ‘Yes, yes! Till you are not ashamed—anymore.’ ‘Oh Mustapha! Then there’ll be no end to it—ever. Because someone must always lose.’  

Compassion

Compassion is a sense of identifying with all of life. It arises out of a sense of reverence for life i.e. all life is precious - and encourages us to engage the reality of our interactive and shared existence. Compassion is a core value for human society, and enables us to reach out to help others, but also to feel comfortable enough to accept help and assistance when we ourselves are in need. Without compassion, we can easily turn away from other people’s pain, even with impunity, and ignore things that do not directly affect us. We can also become hard within and forget that our compassionate embrace of the world includes us in it as well and is a central source of mutual care and respect.

It continues to be important that young people see and experience the power of compassionate caring - and how it can change lives. They need to feel free enough to be able to show such compassion for the lives of others, and to receive it as and when needed in their own lives. Sometimes it almost comes down to being able to accept help when you need it…and being willing to take that extra step to go out of your way to help someone who is in need.

Compassion involves recognizing the humanity in others. It often consists of reaching out to people rather than waiting for them to come to you. Expanding the circle of one’s acquaintances is a way of becoming larger than oneself and contributing to the cohesion of our common social life.

Compassion implies solidarity, which consists of standing with others who are in pain or are less fortunate than you are. It means accepting their struggles as part of your struggles and implies making conscious sacrifices in their service. From such a perspective, it becomes important to reflect on how much of your life is given over to serving yourself and how much to serving others.

Sometimes people act cruelly and hurt others. Occasionally, one can fix it, and through acts of compassion and love, bring things together again. At other times, it is too late, and the best you can do is to remember that your actions can have serious consequences in other people’s lives. A lack of compassion can lead to horrible behavior. Compassion checks the worst in us; without it people become a menace to themselves and to others…and when compassion is lacking, it is easy to divide the world into those with you and those against you, the former being good and the latter being bad.

Robert Cormier, I Have Words To Spend (Or, a game of Us and Them…)

The world is made up of two kinds of people – Us and them. Oh, I’m not talking about friends versus enemies or the Western nations against the rest of the world or of the North against the South. Nothing like that. I mean those of us who share common things, who are loyal to each other, and those who aren’t.  And with people who are with US, we have special rules and very special ways of looking at THEM versus US.

For instance:

We are always Cautious, but They are always Chicken.

When We lose a football game by a 7 to 6 score, We achieve a Moral Victory. But when They lose a football game to Us by a 7 to 6 score, We say it’s the score that counts.

When We don’t dress up, we go Casual. But when They don’t dress, They’re slobs.

Our house has Character. Their house is rundown. Or, Our house has a lived-in look. Theirs looks worn out.

A friend of Ours is colorful, but that same friend of Theirs is nutty.

Our friend has an even disposition and never loses his cool, while Their friend is dull, dull, dull.

Our friend is the life of the party. Their friend always makes a fool of himself after a few drinks.

See how it works?

We are slender, but they are skinny; we have been putting on a little weight lately, but they are getting fat; we are contemplative, they are lazy; we are daredevils – they are reckless!

Sad thing is- we are all in it together, and so us versus them don’t get any of us nowhere!

And lastly for this week –

Forgiveness

Is there only one test of true forgiveness  - that of being able to forget? Is it possible that as long as we remember an event it has not really been forgiven? We might like to think that it has. But then, why does it still exist within us? Inside of us. Part of our persona. Part of our ongoing defense mechanism? (I am not gonna let that happen to me again!) Perhaps such a reality demands that we distinguish carefully about that which can realistically be forgiven and that which is retained in some way, shape or form as part of our ongoing self- preservation! Perhaps that is the way we have been wired? We cannot, for example, keep on forgiving someone who keeps on showing total disregard for human life! Or bring it down a notch -  are you supposed to be forgiving when someone is abusive to you? Of course not! As Sting once sang (paraphrased) I cannot turn the other cheek, its black and blue and bruised (!) You get the idea....so it seems to me this business of forgiveness cannot be oversimplified. To do so would be exceedingly dangerous!   

So, we must consider intention vs accident. Whether we like it or not, we are called upon to make a judgment on such issues that happen. Was it an accident? Unpremeditated? Or was it intentional? Great care must be taken. What was the context? What were the circumstances? Are there mitigating factors? If we think, well it was an accident, and accidents will happen (that’s why they’re called accidents!) then we need to be forgiving and put it out of our minds (forgetting) so that the other person has a shot at full rehabilitation. No one can overcome an issue if they keep on being reminded of it. And that works both ways! 

And if it wasn’t, then what? Then we have to conclude that we cannot cast pearls before swine! How wise is the wisdom of Proverbs! The worst thing that can happen to you is when you forgive someone and they say they appreciate it but don’t really give a damn and then go out and smash you again! In such a case, forgiving seventy times seven certainly does not apply! Probably by the 7^th time, much less the 70^th, there won’t be any part of you left! And you are called to be such a sacrifice? No! We are not little Jesus people who go off to die on little crosses for the sins of the world. There is only one Jesus, and he already did that!  People talk of not having to reinvent the wheel...this is something like that!

Take another perspective on this...why did Jesus not choose to forgive the moneylenders in the temple and practice a forgive 70 x  7 ethic in their favor? You know, go and sin no more; actually, he did this, but just not in the way we might expect him to!

So, in all of the business of forgiveness, there is a clear element of accountability that needs to be resolved. I am willing, able and ready to forgive you. And I do so. Now, what is your response? How do you respond? Can you and will you then demonstrate that, yes, such actions are a thing of the past for you and you take no satisfaction from them (never did) but they constitute a weakness on your part, and you have a plan to rehabilitate yourself from such things that seem to have a hold on you. And this is where the encouragement of forgiveness is so critical. It encourages and supports repentance!  

This is why Jesus uses the 70 x 7 template! In the business of forgiveness you are encouraging new life, new strength, new growth! And you forgive, just as God has forgiven you! Random bits and pieces in all we cover will reach out to us, as all come together into the actual difference Jesus brings with power into our lives. Good practice is to think of the aspects we do well in, and the ones we need to grow on.

Stay well and be safe. Next week we look at honesty and integrity…May the peace that passes all understanding be yours, now and always, in Jesus. G.

 

 

 

Christian character: Anger, conflict, responsibility, accountability

 

Greetings in Jesus’ Name!

Continuing our thoughts on Christian character, we consider anger, conflict, responsibility, accountability. In sharp detail, that would take us months! What follows is just an overview to get us thinking about these things; the breadth and depth of it will come in the full chapters now in prep, one of which will be on marriage and family.

Anger and conflict:

Gen 4:9 Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Where is Abel your brother?’ He said, ‘I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?’

Proverbs 11:28 a dishonest man spreads strife; a whisperer separates close friends.            15:18 a hot-tempered man stirs up conflict but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

Matt 18:15ff If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

Eph 4:26-27 do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Anger offers three responses, and the two most common choices are bad, causing either external harm to others, or internal harm to the self; part of the variety of responses that human beings are capable of. The challenge anger brings can be surmounted, but thus far we have not been very successful despite technological connectivity!  We need to raise a generation that can do this. We all get angry at times, and we all have the option to tame that anger and convert it into something productive within the context of a relationship or an issue. Such is the 3^rd choice

Think on it. We get angry. Someone or something causes the response. But ‘see what you made me do’ doesn’t fix anything other than demonstrate our lack of control. What can we do? The 1st distinction to make is that between issue and person. The perpetrator is responsible for the action or word, sure. But our first response must be to take the action and show it for what it is. If we are correct and tactful, we get to be light-bringers. If we stay silent or are wrong, we have taken a wrong turn, and not much good will come of it. Things stay dark, ambiguous, confused. We must choose and navigate our way. And when we opt to show a thing for what it is we must do so gently and with genuine care, never from a superior or better attitude. This is how light takes on darkness and defeats it. We must confront the doer of the wicked deed, whatever, and say how could you? It is not so much a judgement call as much as a response of honesty and integrity that requests self-examination and self-awareness on the part of the other. Whether it works can often depend on the relationship that pertains!  In plain language, because the thing is wrong, it is harmful, and they must resolve it because they caused it. How to get them to see how it feels from the other person’s view? This is the moral courage that all of us are capable of. .

Hence the value of working with anger. Not an easy task, but if we work at it, we can overcome it. It is almost always an incremental process of learning.

And then it will not become or grow into conflict, where two persons or 2 parties or more get angry and decide that there is no other way to go other then to attack each other. Or the one is more peaceable than the other and the first one thinks I can win this by force of will. There is some truth in this. In the face of evil, kindness and humility become accommodation to cruelty. Instead, there must be a will to resist such evil in whatever form is needed. And so we have had bad wars and just wars. But both bring loss of life and irreparable harm. Not a good answer. We have diplomats and representatives everywhere for everyone, but they do not practice diplomacy as much as they could. Most of the time they do as they’re told.  

In the end, perhaps the family is the one true microcosm of the world, and when we shift our notions and traditions and create alternatives what have we really done? Unless we move with caution and care, we create division. What is right never changes as in what does no harm, but culture and context are always on the move. So we must have the courage to forge new pathways that allow for human happiness. This can quickly and easily lead to sub-distinctions. We get in-between options, and most of them, unless they have the support and participation of all the folk in an area, create partisanship. Groups within groups, as with church divisions, for centuries.

In the family we are called to do our initial work – that of growing up ourselves and then helping our children grow well. This K & I have done, and our sons are gentle but strong. They do no harm nor will they accept harm at the hands of anyone. Most of our world, whether we like it or not, is still at a lex talionis level i.e. an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. We have talked much of grace in church, but we have not been able to make it a social strength in society because we have not practiced it as social holiness!  We have talked Jesus, but have not stayed linked to him, nor consistently demonstrated him, and so have been unable to manifest much of the grace that he wishes us to have! We talk of how salvation is free, and grace is free. And I have gotten used to listening to talk about it and not seeing its accompanying actions, all of my life. But it has become tiresome. These days my attitude has become either show me or get out of my face and leave me alone to continue my journey of seeking to experience and manifest the Kingdom in all of its fullness, for that is what the Lord our God calls us to. I have neither the tie nor the desire for talk. There has been too much for too long. It is the last lesson. Once you reach it, you begin to truly move upward and onward, in thought, word, and deed. And it is reachable. It is all a matter of will. Our will, knit with that of the Lord. Nothing else. So we are called to discover this truth for ourselves, in the here and now.

On to responsibility and accountability. Psychiatric and psychological views talk therapy, while fundamental religious views talk prayer, humility and giving generously to church. Leaving all of that grandiosity aside, let’s just take the most blatant historical example of wrong in the human species - how women are treated by men, for the most part.

Start with Genesis. Remember that the 1^st eleven chapters of the Bible are myth, legend, and a confession of faith, not necessarily a witness of reality  – no one was there when God created stuff and brought it into existence. So we must be careful with how we interpret and understand it. But the story says, there was this apple, and the woman ate of it, and gave it to the man, and so they sinned. And Adam says – hey, the chick you gave to be with me, she gave it to me. I didn’t start/know/do anything. And so Eve becomes responsible for Adam’s sin. And then we are told that Eve and all women are  punished with painful and risky childbirth forever and ever. Sure. It’s biblical, right? God said so. So ‘Eve’ gets the short end of the stick on 2 counts.

Then Abraham is called and answers the call to be a blessing to a great many. He begins his journey. Wanders into a King’s domain, looks at his wife and says something like if the King asks, you’re my sister. And if he wants you, just go with it. If he knows you’re married, he might just decide to get rid of me. So please, you’re my sister. I guess he really didn’t trust God much yet, did he? Nah, the initial call pulled him out but as we see in our history of human behavior, initial commitments get forgotten after a while and other stuff kicks in. So Abraham is quite willing to make a sacrifice of his wife.

One more - Read Genesis 38:1-26; The Levirate tradition is clear. Does Judah follow it? He begins to but changes his mind! Result? Tamar, his daughter in law, is ignored!  But this is not acceptable to Tamar, and she plans  a way out, even though risky. It is all she can think of. She knows Judah’s character and his habits.  She disguises herself as a prostitute and waits along the travel route where prostitutes wait.  True enough, her father-in-law comes along and requests her services! But he has nothing to seal the bargain. So he offers tokens, exchangeable later for payment. But when he sends his servant to redeem them , both prostitute and tokens are gone! Soon enough, Judah is told that Tamar has been sleeping around and is pregnant.  Interrogated before Judah, Tamar produces the tokens of the man who slept with her! Judah recognizes them and is confronted by his guilt. He finally redeems Tamar.  Hard fight for a little equality.

When you get down to it, the entire Bible carries a ‘male first’ perspective with it. Sure, that’s how humanity grew in patriarchal societies. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Half of Proverbs Ch. 30 is dedicated to good wives. Nothing more. So much done, so much endured, so little said. We need to keep growing. This is not how God intended it at all, but much more how we thought we heard it and then practiced and recorded it as such. Patriarchal society has treated women as 2^nd class citizens forever and it needs to change. The miserable results continue to be all around us, and until they change, half of God’s blessing is unavailable to us. And so men struggle, unable to overcome the temptations of wealth, sex, power. What God calls us to do is to correct and balance it. Those men who do so, find the blessing that other men are unable to. And we can do this now. The human species, male and female, are made in the spiritual image of God. Both are equal, no more, no less.

Equality and equity are not too far behind. How exactly did the rich become the rich? And how do they continue to be the rich? The answers to such questions will tell us everything we need to know to come to terms with how things might be changed for the better. We need peaceable revolution, just about everywhere. Good change has been too slow in coming. Once again, for the sake of our children. Time to stop singing about ‘there’s a place for us….somewhere’.  Or a place in the sun. This is it, we are it. We need to take the responsibility to require accountability of leadership everywhere.

And responsibility and stewardship - these are always about the individual duty that God requires of all of us.

1.We begin with the self – I, me, myself. 1 Cor 6:19 says ‘ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own!’ (also see Rom 8:9; 1 Cor 3:16; 2 Cor 6:16) Note that when scripture speaks of ‘body’ it also includes ‘mind’ and ‘spirit’.  All three need to be held in synchronous relationship with the Holy Spirit! This is the meaning of having the ‘mind’ which was in Christ Jesus. So we must ask,

a. Is my body in synch with the Holy Spirit? Do I treat my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit- as  special and holy? Consider how we use and take care of our bodies. The body, like an engine, needs to be well maintained. Parts need to be inspected, assessed, and can even be replaced these days.  You are owner and Supervisor. But you have help. Developed economies have health systems to support their workers. If this support is insufficient, our health fails  - and productivity fails.

And misuse? For starters, we choke intake valves! bad fuel! Tobacco, alcohol, drugs, (clinical and recreational), fatty food…take all the skin off chicken parts before you fry them and heat them up – see how much oil there is! Side-effects of medication, overuse of antibiotics. We need to know. Educational systems can teach students about nutrition. Parents can customize the specifics. Economic development can create new perspectives on health. But still, we ust educate ourselves about good nutrition! The resources are available.

b. Is my mind in synch with the Holy Spirit? Remember Matt 5:28 …whoever looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery (imagined having sex with her) in his heart (mind)…it’s your thought life! And it’s not just about sex. Wealth, power, anger, revenge - who knows? No one can see into the mind of another, but God does. It’s ok. We’re not perfect. But know your weaknesses and work on them. That’s part of growing spiritually. The mind has a self-deceptive habit. We tell ourselves we’re doing fine. Some will even claim interaction with God…but how to tell the real from the imaginary? Look at the actual long-term result.  Only time will show a thing for what it is. 

c. Lastly – is my  spirit in synch with the Holy Spirit? This is a dynamic element of being. How is this achieved? Through our everyday behavior in relation to other people! That’s it! Grace is free and priceless. But grace is relational! Having received grace, we must then manifest grace in our relational behavior – how we relate to others.  To speak humbly of grace is not enough, for that must be accompanied by demonstrated graceful character that is a blessing to all. Good checks to keep an eye on are our daily kindness to those we don’t know; our control of difficult situations; our control of our emotions, so that no person or thing has power over me to make me happy or sad – I am in control of myself. Not easy, but doable. Depends on our level of interdependence with the Almighty in Jesus. Emotional control is not of the mind, but of the spirit. And so we must ask, am I consistently at peace within myself?  This is what the Lord called the peace that passes all understanding…it cannot be described, but it can be experienced…

We have these aspects of the stewardship of the self in body, mind and spirit. We must keep them together and in continuing relationship with the Holy Spirit. When such synchronicity becomes functional and ongoing, the Spirit becomes an indwelling reality, and we get to see and share in how God is truly working in and around us! We become co-workers with God.

Finally, our geo-political stewardship of earth, as in Genesis Chapters One and Two. God gives dominion, and it is royal. Not a rule that controls, exploits, abuses. But leadership that is tender, nurturing, supportive. That promotes growth. That warning was given to Israel in the time of Samuel. Understand then, the reality of what historical and current political and economic systems have done and are doing to our earth.  It is sad. It is the sinfulness of humankind.  And our children will pay the price. Current philosophies are archaic, inadequate and unrealistic. The systems they generate continue to fuel actions that are ignorant and unfeasible.  World leaders are unable to create peace but simplistically and selfishly cite national interests as the reason for this. And our children will pay the price. Read up on demographic transition created by economic development. As a country’s economic status shifts from developing to developed, its total fertility rates drop correspondingly… political leadership does not know this? read up on environmental stewardship and conservation and what this requires. Consider, even, what religious practices are old and outdated. They may seem comforting, but comfort is not enough to build a future. So our children will pay the price.

GOD IS NOT JUST GOD OF THE PAST, BUT ALSO OF THE FUTURE. Time to look forward and rewrite the script. But who has a vision for a new world? Who, from amongst our children, will be up to the task?  Ask the Lord, that God may call and send those who are up to the real task, and that all of us are involved in some way, shape, or form in their preparation. John Adams once said that public virtue cannot exist in a nation without private virtue, and public virtue is the only foundation of republics. Stuff worth hanging onto.

Look after yourselves, brothers and sisters, for no one will look after you. But for every brave step we take, we have a heavenly Father who protects us from falling and hurting ourselves! A blessed family Thanksgiving to all! G.

 

 

Criticism, courage, insightful judgement

 Greetings in Jesus ‘ name!

This week we look at criticism, courage, and insightful judgement.

But first, the health note for this week: as far as possible, keep your distance from prescription medication. Take what you need, and no more; take a look at the legally required side effect information on any medication you might be taking and ask yourself what exactly is going on; monitor yr meds carefully on at least an annual basis; learn everything you can about whatever condition you have that requires such meds, and find out what you can do to reduce your dependence. It will pay dividends. Years ago, I had a high cholesterol issue and my MD cardiologist friend was hesitant to put me on a statin drug because I was in good health with no meds at all; I suggested (on K’s advice) that we give red yeast rice a shot. Took it for a year, dropped the bad cholesterol 100 points. Cool; doesn’t work for everyone, so you have to do your homework on these things! But on that one, check out what the FDA did to red yeast rice once it became known that this simple cheap alternative was destroying (undercutting) the market for expensive high cholesterol statin drugs! The FDA does a lot of neat things; after all, we got Warfarin (rat poison, stuff that makes rats bleed out and die) working for us as a blood thinner. Anyhow, behind all of this is the careful requirement that we must be very aware of what we eat and how it will affect our bodies; too much sugar, too much salt, processed food, seed oil, and so on. We should teach our children these things because our school systems don’t! They should. Anyways, good health to all of us.

And to our themes for this week - what are the prerequisites? We have 2 faces constantly presenting before us; the first one is that of blatant cruelty disguised with a smile; the other is the old traditional mode of trying to be ‘nice’, no matter what! Where are we in all of this, what are we to do, how are we to respond?

Once again, a bit of scripture to keep us on our toes..

Ecclesiastes 3:7b….a time to keep silent, a time to speak..

When do such ‘times’ apply? Perhaps, when we are not sure of a thing, we should not rush into saying anything about it; when a thing begins to take shape, it may be better to let it grow into ‘maturity’ and expose itself fully for what it is, before responding.

The Good Samaritan Luke 10:25-37

In any situation where harm threatens, action is always warranted. The Good Samaritan jumped in to help and did what he could. A Samaritan, even, in that time and place? But why not? There’s good in everyone, and the doors of the Kingdom are open to all who practice goodness to one another. God wills that we live in community, no distinctions.

And the key issue that beckons to us? Justice.

Proverbs 31:9

defend the rights of the poor and the needy; stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves…

Micah 6:8

What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

Luke 11:42 where Jesus says

Woe unto you, Scribes & Pharisees…you tithe….but forget justice!

Ephesians 5:13

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and does not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed; but whoever practices the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen clearly.

As I’ve said, God does not need our money, or seek our devotional prayers, or desire our praise. God seeks our participation in upholding justice! God seeks our participation in building community!! How we go about responding to encountered situations of injustice in our lives is what each one of us has to figure out; the when and where and how.

And what’s important here is our understanding of the enabling that empowers, for without it we are either too afraid to speak up or too paralyzed to take any action. We end up making no difference, and that is not what we are called to.

Once again it is the vine and branch analogy that Jesus speaks to us of; Never a question of ‘Is God with us?’ but rather one of ‘Are we with God?’ When we are in relationship with God, we are not just enabled, we are also protected. Our relationship with God is answered by God’s commitment to us. Relationship brings commitment. We know how that works, and how it does not work. Hence, we sometimes end up with a  ‘none of my business’ response. Out of my purview. No relationship pertains. I can’t really get involved. No commitment needed on my part. 

We may indeed speak out, and go forward, but we do so in our own name, and that will never be enough. This is why it is important to find our will in God’s will, and not just to say that an action of ours, any action, is sufficient in and of itself. Like that incredible line in the history of the Crusades, where someone calls out “God wills it’ (Deus Vult!) and everyone follows and they go off on a killing spree. Nothing to do with the will of God at all!

     This is why Jesus said put up your sword. You live by the sword, you die by the sword. You are fighting per your own will, not God’s will. God’s will is an entirely different mode of confrontation! How so? Because God is part of it! This is why in the entire history of the powerful deeds of God in the Bible, there is no need for armor, and weaponry, and strategy and so on and so forth. Why? Because the Lord your God goes with you and will fight for you. It is never enough to feel tied to a cause. There are a great many causes and many of them work for the good of others. But human will is not necessarily God’s will. God’s will is clear, never ambiguous, and its clarity and strength come out of a relationship. Much more than faith and belief, but one of knowing. The will of God that causes a thing to happen is a little different from our human bent. It’s like traveling within a just cause and finding as you go that it is indeed a godly cause.   

An example?” Sure. Go back to the Gideon story in Judges. An Angel comes and says: You mighty man of valor, you. Go in this might of yours and deliver Israel! Gideon is taken aback at this. Huh? Me? My clan is the weakest in our tribe. I am the least of my clan. Must have the wrong guy.

 But the Angel is not persuaded. And after Gideon tries out a few tests, it seems that God is indeed on his side. So he goes. Still wary, he takes the Ba’al manifestation down by cover of night! But he gains strength as the story goes and leads in a strange battle. This, you see, IS the God factor. When relationship is real and clear and strong, God might call on you. But God will also equip you to do God’s will. God’s equipping is not our idea of equipping. A lot has been attributed to God’s will that really has nothing to do with God at all. We just took the name of the Lord in vain and paid the price (or will pay the price) for that attempted manipulation down the road.

But when God calls, you will not fail. So Gideon defeats the Midianites. With strange stuff like trumpets, empty jars, torches, craziness. But it worked. Remember again, not by might, nor power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord; this God knows what he is doing. This is where the walk of faith kicks in! Strange stuff in the Bible. Like the sun standing still at the battle of Ai. All we have done is grow in the strength of technology through the ages, from wood to metal to lazer beam power. And as the Corporations gain more control, as government is compromised, as leaders are easily corrupted, the rich grow richer and stronger, and the average person…….is still a systems slave. The road before us is long, but we are not alone. 

The good fight is what Ephesians 5 calls us into. God is light, and when we walk in that light we don’t just have fellowship, we have strength and dynamic ability. You may not see it or even realize it. It will all be God’s doing and then we can only marvel at it. That’s it.

People, especially corrupt political leaders and crooked businessmen, always seek to control the narrative of what our reality is, and so distort and hide the truth, because when the truth is known about them and their doings, they can no longer hide, there will be  consequences, and we can no longer be made use of. Christian duty? Expose the evils of this world. Be not afraid. If and when you are called to it, the Lord your God will fight for you. Walk in his light and be at peace in Jesus. G.

Self-Control, Self-Discipline & Christian Growth

 Greetings in Jesus’ Name!

This week we look at self-discipline and self-control

These principles have a very clear role in human growth; from a Christian perspective, we treat them as synonymous. Basic refs. are

Old Testament:

Psalm 40:8

I delight to do thy will, O my God, because they law is within my heart.

Find your will within God’s will – it’s not a bunch of ‘don’t’s! Just 2 commands is all – walk within these and your strength – physical, emotional, mental – will grow, and so will your ability to influence others for good! You will see the difference and you will know.

Hosea 6:6

I desire mercy, not sacrifice.

Nothing to do with self-denial, which is more often than not a display to impress others or to convince yourself about achieving some sort of godliness or credit with God.  Never a matter of I can’t do this I’m a Christian but one of I don’t want to, rather. You cannot intend doing a good deed; it is always spontaneous.  

 

New Testament:

Matt 23:4

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light

This business of control and discipline is not an incredibly difficult thing to do if you walk with God; The Lord will enable you. The ability to shape your life will be the observable result of that walk! Instead of ‘talking’ to God, listen. Practice that little vs that says Be still and know. Relax, and be focused on the One God. Stillness is immense; knowing has incredible depth; whether you think about or look towards for God the Father, God the Son, or God the Holy Spirit does not matter. God is spirit, God is light, God is love.

Mark 9:50

If salt has lost it saltiness, how will you season anything with it?

This again is the result of the vine and branch analogy Jesus speaks of; we cannot decide on our own to be salt and so become it; we grow into it, and once part of it, that growth accelerates, as long as we stay connected to Jesus. We cannot say I am going to be a witness for Christ; this is an inherent result, one that needs no conscious decision, but comes from who you are and what you have become.

See also Ps 24:1; Gal 5:22-23; and James 3:6-10!

Let’s start with ourselves and our discipline and control of our stewardship of the body, which has been given to us for our time on this earth. There is too much to say at one go, so for these few weeks we will open on a single aspect of health, be it mental, physical, or spiritual. From my work in Geriatrics at Duke Univ. years ago, through managing Mass State’s Home Care and Elder Abuse programs, I have learned a few things.

Think about the hardest working muscle in your body – your heart. Even when you sleep or say you will get a little rest, it is still working, 24/7, without stopping, Do not give up on it, and hope that it will not give up on you until the time is right for you to leave. As we age, glycation develops, because of what we eat and how much we eat of it, and our lack of exercise. Heart tissue changes, not for the better. The lack of moderation causes hardening and thickening of heart tissue. If you need cardiac meds, be it high blood pressure or high cholesterol (hyperlipidemia!) and so forth, take them as you should. Work with your Doctor. But do not make the mistake of thinking, ah, I’ve got meds, it is all ok now. It is not. Medicine is not an exact science. It can only do so much and go so far. Much depends on you. It is your body, and you just might have more control over it than you realize.

Develop your own exercise schedule. Slowly, incrementally……and stick to it. It will pay dividends! This is a must for all of us as we age! Check out the Norwegian 4 x 4 x 4 program. Work on it a couple of times a week. It will require discipline. Controlling your diet is no different. You don’t have to give up anything, you just have to moderate everything. It will require control. And so forth. Check with your Doctor if you need to. But do it. It is never too late to start, no matter how incremental you might need to be. I started exercising some 20 yrs ago. Between the boys egging me on and K watching my diet, I have had family on my side! Once you have the 4 x 4 x 4 program beginning, work on split squats and banded glute work. Identify yr own physical weaknesses and strengthen them. Stay functional, maintain your independence, guard against frailty as far as you can possibly do so, and keep within reasonable limits. It is entirely possible to age well. Always be careful not to compromise your health. Not exactly a commodity you can buy.

Now let’s get into self-control and discipline. Realize that behind these ‘principles’ lie both your will and your intent. Will is exercised when we decide to get out of bed. We use our will to power our every action, every day, on everything we decide to do. And this will is used for purpose and intention – be it good or evil. We are what we choose to be. Look around, the examples of choice and behavior are all around us. Very doable. Seems easier to be bad as vs being good? Not really. It’s all in the enabling and that which is behind it.

Few Corporations serve the human condition, unless they are distinctly and carefully

 non-profit. Even then there has always been the spectre of moral limits, with some priests and choir boys. Or other similar or related issues when children, women, the poor and the less fortunate, are all abused. Never mind hiding behind the excuse of ‘sin’. It’s human will and intention. There is no need to get philosophical about the why of it. These are all nothing more than rationalizations. Be wary of them.

The Invitation Jesus gives is to embark on the training of your will under his guidance. Hence John says If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed (8.36) You can choose your habits, lose the harmful, replace them with better ones! And Jesus will help you make it happen. You must just want it to be so. And as noted, it is never a matter of self-denial. Much more one of moderation and balance. It’s not your one hour or so of worship in church; the fellowship is a social exercise which may be supportive and helpful for some; or even a musical one. But what is crucial is the opening up of your entire life to God, sharing all of your activities. The salt that we are to become is the salt that he pours into our lives. And when you do it right, ability grows, in quantity and quality.

All of my life I have seen folk deceive themselves into thinking that feeling is somehow sufficient. But it never is and creates nothing lasting. The end result is what counts. The world is full of illusion; religious talk can be one of the chief culprits. Be aware. Never trust talk. Only the actions count. God gives us free will. We start with our intentions and we pare down the negative – the bias, the prejudice, the weak and useless self-centered habits of mind and body. Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegard once said that purity of heart is to will one thing. Exactly so. Let the one thing be the One God, and we cannot go wrong. Habits create pathways in our brains. Be wary lest we become like the old-fashioned needle stuck in a record groove, playing the same phrase over and over again, repeating itself. You know the phrase – I’m old and I’m set in my ways. But with God, nothing ages, other than the body which is only a temp. form. So change the needle. Or move the needle. Instead of praying brush away the cobwebs of my life, O lord! kill the spider yourself. It’s right there in your will and intent.

Ony then can we begin the amazing  prototokos experiment that much of the so-called Christian world continues to fail at. But Jesus calls us to it. We are no longer influenced by that which the world says is good because we can see beyond it. We don’t have to condemn anything or anyone. Leave them be. They must walk their own path for better or worse. Focus on your own.

Perhaps the worst manifest intent in our lives today is the greed of the humanity that we find ourselves living amongst. Perhaps it’s always been there, but these days with technology the scale is huge! The insatiable need for the meaningless accumulation of personal wealth, power, control. We must all die, but many will find little comfort in what comes after. They have been too intent on making this a hell on earth for so many others when they could do so much good instead. But good-ness is Godliness. It speaks for itself through what it does.

Years ago in the ‘60’s there was this British rock band called Rare Bird, and one of their better known songs was called Sympathy. It said, among other words

‘now half the world hates the other half; and half the world, has all the food; and half the world, lies down and quietly starves; for there’s not enough love to go round.’

Not much has changed or gotten better. So we must walk a different path. And we must find new ways to make things better. The old ways have not worked. Choose your friends carefully. Walk the same journey, and God bless everyone of us, in Jesus’ name. G.

 

 

Elisha, Gehazi, & The Commander

 

Dear friends,

Greetings in Jesus name!

A little housekeeping first, please.

i.This post ends the focus on the Old Testament prophets for now; we will come back to 2nd Kings and Jezebel & then Isaiah in Lent of next year.  But as we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas in what continues to be a difficult and illogical year for obvious reasons, we should look at biblical teaching on character, lest we forget what the Bible says about such characteristics. Those topics are listed at the end of this post.

ii.Should you need to, all posts are on the Blog at dreliatjacobsladder.blogspot.com. These are just posts that are share as I walk. No mission, no donations, no church etc; let us continue…

Elisha & The Commander, 2 Kings 4:1-37

Going on from Elijah, this section shows Elisha doing several wondrous deeds; from the miracles which save children from debt slavery, to the Shunamite woman and her son, to purifying a pot of stew, and feeding a 100 strong crowd of hungry folk, with only 20 barley loaves and some grain. Interesting that just as Elijah brought salvation i.e. deliverance, to the widow of Zarepath in Sidon, who was both a widow and a foreigner and so a minority, Elisha heals no lepers other than Naaman the Syrian, no?.

God does not set boundaries in deciding whom God’s mercy falls upon. Our notions of ‘differentness’ - of race, color, custom, tradition, religion……..do not matter at all in God’s sight. Any claim along such lines will fail. All that matters is how we treat each other, and how we are treated.

The story begins with a conversation between the Commander’s wife and her Israelite housemaid about the Commander’s condition. The housemaid is a slave, and she remembers her background and heritage, and says that there is a prophet in Israel; there may be healing there!

This is a great man, Commanding General  of the Syrian King’s army.  But he has a life changing problem – he has leprosy! If he cannot fix this, it will be the end.

He asks the Syrian King about Elisha. But his King does not know and decides to send Naaman to the Israelite King, who gets very upset at such actions and expectations! This news comes to Elisha, who tells the Israelite King to send the Commander to him, so that he may know there is a prophet in Israel. Naaman sets out, bearing gifts to pay for the best available health care. With his entourage, he heads for Elisha’s location.

The prophet is not to be found. But a messenger comes out and tells him what the prophet says he is to do –  go and wash in the Jordan, seven times.

This is a bit much for the Commander. No special treatment; not even an assistant prophet to tend to him; just a messenger. And then to be told to just go and wash in the river 7 times? Some sort of test? No pomp and ceremony? Go wash, just as everyone goes down and washes in the river? I could wash in the river back home! In a rage, the General leaves.

But his servants convince him to try it out. After all, what has he got to lose? It is but a small and simple request, easily done. Finally, he goes, and to his astonishment, he is healed. Incredible! How could such a thing happen? Naaman is ecstatic and would like to pay for services rendered, but this is neither expected nor approved of. No compensation is needed. God is not interested in $. Struggling to show gratitude and yet satisfy his own transactional sense, Naaman decides to make a gesture instead, and takes earth from Elisha’s location back with him. This he may do.

Naaman now is certain that Israel’s God is the One God. And he asks future forgiveness when his duties require him to attend at a 'foreign God's temple' with the Syrian King.

But as he leaves, Gehazi runs after him, and speaks of a change of situation and that a gift would now be appreciated. Delighted, Naaman gives generously. Gehazi takes what he gets and leaves, putting these gains aside quietly once home.

But Elisha asks Gehazi where he has been, and Gehazi lies. And the prophet is fully aware of what has transpired and says but I was with you and saw. A judgment is passed, and Gehazi leaves Elisha’s presence, now a leper. He may not go wash in the Jordan.

What do we make of this? Let us deal with Gehazi first. Gehazi is clear that where there is profit to be made, it should be done. God’s actions are no exception! Why should I not profit from them, just because my Master does not wish to do so? So he grabs what he can. He is aware of the stories surrounding Elisha, yet does not realize that this might backfire. His greed overcomes all caution. But Elisha calls him out, and there is no forgiveness, no excuse. For there is always a judgement for taking the name of God in vain. You cannot cheapen the grace of God and put a price on it. The same applies today to anyone who seeks to use God for their own benefit. The One God is not mocked.

Next, what happens here and why? It is a witness. The phrase ‘that there is a prophet in Israel’ tells all. In a time of corruption, where God’s name is bandied about and leaders feign worship but practice hypocrisy, there is a prophet in Israel. When misery and suffering abound and it seems that nothing can change it, there is a prophet in Israel. When events are totally depressing, God works through Elisha changing it into what it should be.

It is salvation. And salvation is life changing deliverance in the here and now. Not some nebulous concept of feeling good for a while. Oil flows and saves children from slavery; a comfortable but childless woman gain’s a child, and when the child dies Elisha brings him back to life; and a hundred people are fed with 20 barley loaves, the shape of things to come!

And yet even the note in the Oxford Annotated Bible, perhaps the most respected interpretative tool around, says ‘we are fortunate in having preserved for us this fine collection of prophetic lore’. Is this the case? We are probably just as fortunate then, in having all ofJesus’ work preserved for us as well.  A fine collection, no doubt. I tend to go with Brueggeman, who says that this is the established Canon of the Old Covenant, which has come about because people have recounted significant events for generations. This is neither lore nor fantasy nor myth nor legend. Canon is testimony. We will talk more about this next year. For in the formulation of that which is Canon we seem to have lost some 20 yrs of Jesus's life amongst us, which began with his teaching in the temple at 12! Those events just happened a long time ago. And we have lost touch with their spiritual reality. Israel has lost touch. The church has lost touch. Look at the gap between the life changing power of the New Testament amongst the disciples and apostles and what happens in church history in later years. We are reduced to talking about history, and that’s it. And of what use is that? Well, its inspiring. Wonderful, no? We may certainly keep on being inspired. But there is more. Much, much more.

You cannot dare to say a thing will happen unless you know that it will. And you cannot know that it will unless God has given you that information. Some may take the safe way out and play the game of hope. But children do not hope from their parents, they ask, knowing they are loved. Their needs are always met. When I was a practicing Minister I once had a couple come to the altar rail after worship and tell me, crying, that ‘we want a child. We have waited and waited. Nothing. Can you help?’ My answer was ‘no I cannot, but God can’. And I laid the prayer that Samuel gave Hannah upon them. All I said was ‘God has heard your prayer. You will have a child.’ No more, no less. And the next year there was a child to baptize. I have no easy answers. Only God knows. But somewhere in there were elements of deep compassion and care and will, and an overarching sense that God never refuses genuine need when brought to Him. What I am trying to say is that this, from Jesus, is a caring action enabling that we are all invited to participate in. There is no need for ‘special’ people anywhere! God reaches out to all, enables all!

But this is the challenge, you see. Elijah and Elisha are forerunners of that which Jesus is and does. Jesus says that all I have done you can do and more. There are no limits. Not even to move mountains. Why would any of us need to move mountains? But that refers to the weight of the task before us! This is the prototokos challenge of new creation. Not just saying stuff. But making a real life-situation difference. Talking about, sure, but also doing. There are, in the tradition and the Canon, prophetic books of sayings, of prophets who speak of good and evil, who bring words of comfort, assurance and of the shape of things to come. Jesus’ focus is on both the Word that is alive (this is why you cannot just say it, for that will not work and may backfire on you, for it is the very presence of God – the true word is an energy from God!), and on the deed which transforms. It is always existential and makes a critical difference here and now. One that not only says stuff, but then does it. All for the glory of God. That there are no prophets these days does not mean that there cannot be. The prophet is no more than a manifestation of Jesus Christ! So it all comes down to our tightness with Jesus. Beyond belief and faith, but of relationship that manifests in all you say and do. Build it, grow it, cling to it. It will take you into the Kingdom while you are still in this world. Grace and peace, G.

And the upcoming on Character & Christian character….

Nov: 9^th - Discipline & Self-control; 

16^th – Criticism, courage, and not judging?

23^rd – Responsibility, accountability, anger, conflict;

30^th – Empathy, compassion, forgiveness, integrity.

Dec: 7^th – Worry & Anxiety; 

14th – Loyalty, faithfulness & stewardship; 

21^st – Love;

28^th – Light. And so endeth the year….